Tiffany’s Story: It Wasn’t Right For Me
Me and Jehovah’s Witnesses
The highest position I reached in the organization is Unbaptized Publisher.
Unbaptized Publisher
I have been an unbaptized publisher for 15 years. I am no longer an unbaptized publisher.
Disassociation
I was disassociated from Jehovah’s Witnesses for 10 years. I made a firm decision to be known no longer as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
I left because of Child Abuse, Doctrinal Issues, High Control Group, Shunning, and I also left Jehovah’s Witnesses to protect my mental health.
Data Subject Access Request
As regards my personal data, I have not requested it. I don’t think they would give me my data.
All things considered with regard to Jehovah’s Witnesses’ handling of personal and disciplinary data, I do not believe it is open, transparent and clearly documented.
To Be Shunned
I think long-term shunning has a detrimental effect on a person’s emotional, mental and/or physical well-being. I am being shunned by Aunt(s), Uncle(s), Cousin(s), Best Friend/Close Friend(s), Congregation Friend(s).
I disagree with Jehovah’s Witnesses’ practice of shunning.
Jehovah’s Witnesses’ practice of shunning has given me anxiety or depression. I would like Jehovah’s Witnesses to end shunning.
My cousins whom I grew up with all shun me completely because I am no longer a Jehovah’s Witness. My aunts and uncles will still talk to me but it is quick and to the point and only when they need to. Mostly they will say hi at a funeral but that is mostly the extent of it.
When my brother almost died last year, they called to check on him and said their speil about how they care and how they were saying prayers etc. But they never cared before he got really sick. They never checked on him before either.
They tried to talk about God etc with him. Now they all want to study the Watchtower with him because he isn’t all cognitively there and so they think it would be easy to get hours in service or something.
He told them he doesn’t want to be a jehovah’s Witness and so they blamed me for that because we live together. And so they are completely shunning him again.
My cousins saw me years ago at a convention and said things like, “Oh good we can talk again.”
Then I stopped going to meetings and in service again and so they haven’t talked to me except maybe once in 15 years or so. And that was because my elder grandfather died.
My grandfather didn’t believe in shunning, even while he served as an elder.
When I was about 22, a sister at the hall I was still studying with, going to meetings with, and out in service with, gave me a Bible with a letter inside it telling me that I needed to shun my immediate family, those that were not going to meetings, and that if I didn’t, then I couldn’t get baptized because I wasn’t ready. She said they were all “bad association”.
When I stopped going to meetings after all this, my friends all shunned me and I never saw them again. I went from seeing them 4-5 days a week to never again.
Now my ex jw boyfriend and I are being completely shunned by his parents too because he didn’t want to be a witness and neither did I. So I’m shunned by parts of my family and parts of his family. We have almost no family left because of this.
When we needed a place to stay for literally 3 months we moved in with my parents. The elders came to my mom and told her that unless she kicked me, my boyfriend and our 3 small children out that they wouldn’t reinstate her because she had people living in sin under her roof. She was told she needed to shun us because we were living in sin.
My best friend from when I was little got ahold of me maybe 10 years ago and because I wasn’t a practicing JW she refused to talk to me. She said she couldn’t believe I left Jehovah and so she couldn’t talk to me unless I went back. I missed her and couldn’t believe she wouldn’t even talk for 5 minutes because of my choice. She hasn’t spoke to me since.
I also have a few close childhood friends that are being shunned. It’s not a few people most families have someone they can no longer talk to. The witnesses tear families and friendships apart.
Final Comments
I was about 3 maybe 4. My parents were studying with the witnesses. We went to their Bible studies house and they had 2 boys. One was probably 10 and the other 12. When they were all studying the Bible they talked me into their room, locked the door, dragged me by my feet under their bunk bed and molested me. I was terrified and didn’t know what to do.
Years later I saw them at a convention. One was a ministerial servant and they were helping at the convention. Nothing ever happened to them because I didn’t realize till I was a bit older what had actually happened to me. But of course they are still acting like they were holy and never went to the elders.
Even if I had reported the molestation to the elders, they would have applied the 2 witness rule and I wouldn’t have been believed anyway. My mom knows now what happened and she knows who they are. Yet she didn’t tell the elders or try to validate any of it. Her answer is “Well we are all imperfect and Jehovah knows.”
When I was about 11 there was a guy in my hall who was about 18 and he wrote me a letter and mailed it to my house asking me to marry him. My parents told the elders but nothing was done. He was creepy and infatuated with me. I believe the organization has no problem with people who are way way older marrying someone who is barely legal. He said he was going to wait for me till I was able to marry him and literally nobody seemed to have a problem with that. My parents asked me what I wanted to do and I thought they must be joking. The elders didn’t seem to think it was a problem.
Over the course of 3-8 years ago I took my very small children to the meetings a few times. I found out recently that there was a child molester in the congregation my children and I had been attending. I let my kids roam around after the meetings with other kids and didn’t worry. I didn’t realize there was someone like that in the Kingdom Hall. The elders don’t tell anybody that has kids, and being naive I let my kids play without me. Now I realize the religion harbors pedophiles.
If a child comes into a medical clinic and is a Jehovah’s Witness I would hope that the medical professionals could ask the child if they are being abused mentally, physically or sexually. You get scared when your indoctrinated to say anything. You think you will literally die at Armageddon if you do speak out so I think that it would be helpful for medical professionals to know how the religion works and how they can help.
In my opinion, this religion teaches that you are never doing enough: Not enough studying; not enough time in service; not enough praying; not enough meditating on the Bible; not giving enough of your time or money.
As a woman, you are taught to be submissive from a young age. We were taught that we needed to obey our husband’s and be submissive.
Now I have a hard time with boundaries and sticking up for myself in relationships. Having a healthy relationship is nearly impossible.
You are taught that you must not be materialistic and you must not go to college to better yourself in “Satan’s World”. Worrying about your financial future means you are not relying on Jehovah to provide for you. So nobody goes to college, including myself, and so by the time your 40 you still can’t make ends meet or provide for your family, because you never got a degree or a decent job to support your family. You are supposed to be happy being poor.
Thanks for reading,
Tiffany
